Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ah Changes...

How can we get out of Change? We can't. Plain and Simple. Those of us in our Wise Years have learned (or are still learning) to "go with the flow". Bend and stretch and flex. Rigidity never works. Life is not meant to be static.

It's taken me a while to stop wishing things could be different (well sometimes I still do), but I am learning that Acceptance makes life easier. I am learning to let go.

Granddaughter #2 was diagnosed last year with a digestive illness. I am loosening my grip on this issue. I was furious at our medical system for not being there for her. I was stressed out that my daughter (her mother) did not have my experience and wisdom to handle this the way I would have. However I had to let go. For my own mental and physical health. And to allow my daughter to grow and learn from this experience, the way she is meant to.

I am learning to let go of my youth. I look at my children and wish I was in their shoes. I absolutely loved those years of raising a family, dressing up for parties and social events, going to work and getting a paycheque, not worrying in the least about my body or health. And my parents lived close by. I danced through those years. Not that we didn't have problems. Money was a big one. And I left my marriage after 20 years. But looking back, I only remember the joy.

And looking back to the beginning of my present relationship - I see more joy, more happiness, to the point of bursting wide open. And then I wonder why Hubby and I can't still be enjoying those fruitful and healthy first few years.

What I am learning is that you can't hold on to the good things in life and expect Change to wait for a better time. Ha! I used to try and hold on to summer. Doesn't work. I used to try and hold on to a glorious day. Sunset made me sad.

This blogging community has helped with Change. I now read others' posts about autumn with delight, rather than sadness. Winter is difficult, but the beauty I see captured by my blogging friends cheers me up. Winter birds, snow gracing an evergreen tree or a house, Christmas baking, indoor candles and beautiful table settings - bring comfort to a long, cold winter here. Of course, I also check out blogs in Florida, or the Caribbean, or Australia, or other parts of the world, where I am sure to see magical gardens and gorgeous flowers.

But today it is Summer here, and I will enjoy it to the fullest!

26 comments:

amelia said...

I so hope you find your peace here.

I feel exactly the same way as you and the older I get the more I try to see the good in everything instead of the bad. I too sometimes wish I could party the way I used to without looking stupid! I am trying also to accept the things I cannot change.
My mother is another cannot change item!!
I wish my body would do the things it used to but it won't, I have to try to accept this too.
I'm not trying to take away from your writing but if I feel this way and so do you, then there have to be a lot of people who feel the same.
You are not alone!

Wendy said...

Hi Amelia - you certainly are not taking anything away from my writing. You are enhancing it with your own experience. And I value each person's experience. Thank you for stopping by.
Hugs

Florida Sue said...

I am glad that I have the honour of being the first to comment on this oh so pretty blog.I love that you have done this Wendy, because you have so much to offer from a very unique perspective. I love the theme of acceptance. I think there is only one way to be able to embrace it, and that is by growing older. I remember very well caring for elder and infirm patients when I was a student nurse. I really did think "that will never be me." I had to do things my way; I was cocky, impatient and thought that I knew it all. That attitude allowed me to breeze through university when my children were young, juggling work, education and parenthood with relative ease. I guess what I am trying to say is that perhaps impatience and taking things for granted is a learning process of youth. Maybe it is the path to the happy and reflective elder years. I suspect that when I am eighty I will look back upon this stage in my life as the freeing and joyful transition. I hope so.

XOSue.

Wendy said...

Hi Sue, welcome aboard! I totally relate to what you are saying. And I do hope you will look back at this point in your life with joy - I hope I do too!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi Wendy... I LOVE LOVE LOVE your new blog. I think you are smart to make a huge change--not only with your attitude about life but also about the emphasis being on YOU... LOVE it!!! I'm so proud of you!!!!

I will gladly follow you on this new blog. Keep the thoughts about LIFE coming. We all have our struggles and our joys. It's just about the way we handle things... As I say, it's about ATTITUDE.

Hugs,
Betsy

Maggie May said...

I do know what you mean. I am finding back problems are becoming continual these days and I fear I am stuck with it. I sometimes feel I didn't live life to the full when I could have.
Love new blog. I love it!

Maggie May said...

PS The one thing I will miss from your other blog, is the little picture of that secret door! It always fascinated me!

Rose said...

Beautiful changes here, Wendy! I love the background. This is so well-put. I used to be a much more stressed out person, and there were parts of my life (people) that I really wished I could change. I still feel that way at times, but more and more I am learning to let go and to accept the way things are. Life is too short to have regrets or to "wish it away." You have inspired us all!

Cheryl said...

A beautiful post to start your new blog Wendy.....I am so glad that you are letting go, it is difficult I know. I went through this journey many years ago now and oh am I liking it. I love getting older, I have learned that age is just a number, it is what we feel inside that is important....and there is so much out there to enjoy...

I sometimes think of giving up blogging but I cannot let go of my friends.....I have met so many wonderful people......people that have made a difference to my life....people I think about on a daily basis....

Love ya Wendy......

Celia said...

Love your new blog page (and the sweet little fairy on the side), and your attitude, embracing changes, the work of a lifetime. Congrats.

Beverly said...

A wonderful new beginning. I love your new look.

Kanak Hagjer said...

Hi Wendy, congrats on starting "Changes with the Seasons". I love your post, the whole new look and of course, the header!

Despite the geographical distances, as a woman, as a gardener, there are so many things that I can relate to--being part of this great community of bloggers--it's wonderful! And you're so right about Acceptance. It does make us deal with things a lot better.

Have a lovely weekend! Looking forward to your next post!

Karin said...

Very pretty new blog! Congratulations on making the change. I used to thrive on change - moving to an exciting new location,starting a new job and meeting new people, moving my furniture around in our house, oh, I loved the adventures of life. Now, as I am retired from work and only working part-time, I love if things would only stay the same. It's the kids and their kidlets who are always moving, changing jobs, upgrading education, dealing with new challenges in their lives, and I would like nothing better than to have them all close by all the time and for the changes to be a little subtle - not so huge!!! I find that in my life the only constant is my faith!

When it comes to the blogs, I prefer to read them, rather than write them, lol. It's nice to visit. All the best to you!

Wendy said...

Hi Betsy, thank you for coming along. It is hard to let go of somethings. Your blog is all about joy - and as you mentioned, attitude. I love coming to visit you.

Hi Maggie, I've taken the little faerie door with me. You can click on it and enter another world. I hope you get some medical attention for your back. Sometimes all it takes it some exercises or muscle relaxants to help.

Hi Rose, I am humbled by your comments. Thank you so much. You are right, we can't change other people, only our own attitudes. Strange how this stuff never came up when we were younger. I guess we were all too busy.


Hi Cheryl, I know exactly what you mean. My blogging friends are so important to me. And I do think of you on a daily basis. At first I thought I was nuts. Why am I thinking about people I've never met? But it really doesn't matter. There are so many good people in our blogging community.

Good for you - having gone through this years ago. There are parts of me that still long to be young, but I'm turning to the wiser aspects of myself; my spirit is still young, only the body is aging.(no that didn't make too much sense, but I'm leaving it that way).
Love you back, Cheryl.

Celia, you hit the nail on the head - work of a lifetime. Sometimes it's easier than other times. Thanks for popping in!

Hi Beverly, thanks for joining me here.

Hi Kanak, we are oceans apart and yet feel and experience a lot of the same things. Gardening and blogging has brought us together. I am grateful for your friendship and learn lots at your blog.
Namaste

Hi Karen, Oh I know what you mean. I also loved change, moving and adventure. I would have had a dozen children, but hubby decided 3 was enough!
The last thing I want is to be a person who clings to the "old ways". You miss so much of life that way.
Hugs to all.

Shammickite said...

Your new blog format looks wonderful, and I am so glad that you are broadening your focus and not concentrating so much on your dear hubby's health problems. As you know, you can't change the way things are, all you can do is make the best of what life has to offer. Smile and enjoy the sunshine. And if it rains, grab wellies and an umbrella and enjoy it just the same.
I really have enjoyed all the different topics you include in your blog, and I'm looking forward to more of the same!

Grammy said...

Hi Wendy, I love the new look. You are an awesome person. And some day I hope we get to see each other.I see you are flying your wing of life here it will help so much. I am working on the next level too.
Big hug.

Beverly said...

enjoyed this...oh, the wisdom of our years. You are right in thinking of our younger years, I do miss having my boys right here at home with me. But, then I would not have Max, Lily, and Forrest, or my daughters-in-law. I wish I could still dress up and go out to dinner, but, I still have to dance, even if it is in my own den....I look forward to more from you....

Abba's Girl said...

Beautiful...

beckie said...

Wendy, this is a beautiful background! Wonderful setting for your new blog.

Like you, I think about my friends on a daily basis. In fact when Rose and I are together, we talk about oour blogging friends as though we have known them forever. :)

Changes are hard to accept, especially when life is so good. But in most cases, change is for the better even if we don't see it at first. And a lot of it depends on how we accept the change and what we decide to make of it. I think our years of experience can help is in those areas. As Rose says, life is too short to have regrets ar wish things were different.

Congratulations on your new blog and I know it will be very successful!

Wendy said...

HI Shammickite, thank you for all your nice words. Sometimes it's easier to dance in the rain than other times. That's often when I turn to my blogging friends for help. And you're always here for me! Hugs.

Hi Grammy, I hope I meet you some day too. I'm realizing that if I want anything done, I need to break it down into baby steps. Then I'm not overwhelmed. I started this Change last fall by doing affirmations and I have met some really big goals. With friends like you, it makes it much easier. Hugs too.

Hi Beverly, I think that way too and it helps. If my children were not grown up, I wouldn't know my grandchildren. Oh yeah, dancing is fun and I usually dance outside in my back yard.

Hi Annette, thanks for popping in.

Hi Beckie, thank you so much for your nice words too. You've given good advice. And I know attitude plays a big part in all of this. I'm glad you and Rose are such good friends. I feel as if I've known you guys for a long long time. Isn't it wonderful?

Rambling Woods said...

Oh Wendy..This is a perfect post for me where I am at present with my Mother...It is beautifully written and I agree whole heartedly...

Mom2-2goodboys said...

Wonderful post Wendy. I'll be adding this blog to my list.

JeanMac said...

"Wow!" Beautiful set up Wendy and wise, wise words.

Wendy said...

Thank you ladies, it's always a pleasure reading your kind comments. Will chat with you over at your "place!"

Q said...

Dear Wendy,
Perhaps yesterday and tomorrow are just part of our now. I practice, Mindfulness and it allows for "just being".
Change is the constant....
Thank you.
Sherry

Jenell said...

Oh, Wendy, you are a kindred spirit! I'm going to go add you now to the blogs I follow. :)