Friday, April 22, 2011

Caravan day

A year and a day after David was admitted to hospital, our home went up on the market. I felt my stomach twist a little as the Real Estate Agent drove the For Sale sign into my front lawn. Am I really moving? Can I leave these memories behind?  Last April seems like such a long time ago, and only just yesterday. It was last April that David was taken to hospital and never came home.

This morning our home was put on Caravan, which sounds like a rather strange occurrence, but is just a term real estate agents use to show off new listings on the market. All agents are provided with a list of homes to be viewed on Caravan. My home was scheduled for 9:00 a.m., first one on the list.

Well, for some reason I did not want to stay. I had to get out. I could not face all those people walking through our house, making comments. Not that they wouldn't be pleasant or professional. I'm sure they were. And not because the house was messy. It wasn't. I had cleaned and polished and aired. I even sent the cat outdoors, out of the way.

I had some errands to run anyway, so left the house early. And then I remembered that the bank wasn't yet open. Darn! I would have to start at the last stop and work backwards. And what would my last stop be, all  you blogging buddies who know me so well?? Coffee. Of course.

I started at the end and picked up a coffee at Tim Hortons. It was still rather early. I had lots of time, so instead of taking the highway back, I decided to meander along the scenic route towards the village, grocery store and bank. Driving leisurely along the river road is always a pleasure. It reminds me of the days David and I used to bike that route. I would peek into peoples' gardens admiring their pretty flowers, while David would enjoy listening to birdsong. He'd be the first to notice a bluejay or a cardinal or a fat robin poking in the grass. He was always the first to hear geese honking as they migrated each winter or returned in the spring. He'd watch for that familiar V in the sky, excitedly pointing upward to share his find with me. Canada geese seemed to hold a special place in David's heart and the artwork in our home reflected this fondness.  The natural world was important to David and he paid attention to all her signs and listened as she spoke.

Cool, fresh air poured through my open car window, and as bright morning sun warmed my face I began to relax. The road was rather long and winding with no traffic to speak of, so I took my time. The landscape had changed over the years. New homes were under construction on the waterfront, sadly taking over the agricultural part of the land. Cows grazed in the fields next door, making for a strange hodgepodge of granite and grass. Cheerful spring flowers scattered lawns and sprinkled over into ditches. I found myself both lulled and pulled along by the song of the river.

I had to go back the next day to take this. Luckily the geese were still there.

Then all of a sudden I was looking into a soccer field that dipped down towards the river. Oh my goodness,  Thompson Park! I had not thought where this road would take me; my only thoughts were on the end point - reaching the village. Thompson Park was the place where we had scattered David's ashes nine months ago. Not in the park, of course. The park part is a soccer field, with the land sloping down to the water. I might have driven right past, if not for the geese. Canada geese, here in the park! I'd never seen Canada geese in that park before.

I quickly pulled over and parked the car. With my coffee mug in hand and the sun on my face, I drank in the scene before me.

"David, you did it again! You sent these geese to me as a comfort. You knew I was nervous about people going through our home and you wanted me to know you were here, by my side, supporting me. Ha! And you even made sure I'd had my coffee with me too!"

Good thing nobody was about to witness this crazy lady talking to the geese (or herself, which is probably worse)!

This too was taken the next day. Too bad the sun was not out!


Hilary said...

But of course we all know that you weren't talking to yourself or to the geese. And we all know that David was listening. Your beutiful love stories always warm my heart, Wendy.

mxtodis123 said...

Such a beautiful love you and David had. Your love stories always warm my heart.

Betsy Banks Adams said...

Hi Wendy, I know that David is still there with you ---in everything you do and everywhere you go... It's great that you can keep him alive in spirit --by your blogging.

Are you buying another home --or moving into a condo-type-place???? I'm sure it will be hard to leave that home --with all of its memories.. BUT--David is not in that home. He's with you--wherever you are.

Happy Easter.

Grammy said...

I can see your words in my mind, and feel the emotion with each step. I am so glad you are feeling such passion. Love has left you a true gift. You are not alone either. I think of you often. And Relate the passing of the geese to heading your way now. I feel there is such a healing power in water. The lake is amazing. I need to go there myself. My kids have already been boating and fishing. I am glad to here from you again. I send you a big hug and lots of love. I also found a St. Joseph statue buried upside down near the road. was what I did in my last 2 homes. It did bring about a fast sale. But I could never find them again to bring with me to the next. It is a Catholic thing. Bringing luck to the sale. And blessing to the new home.

Natalie said...

Your posts always tug at my heart, Wendy.
I would say that David certainly had a loving hand in the whole thing. Easter blessings to you. ♥

Maggie May said...

It is wonderful to be able to pick up this love that you have for David...... through God's creatures. I am sure this will always happen to you.
Hoping that the house will sell and that you can move on to a new phase of your life.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Grayquill said...

A year...time marches on. Thanks for sharing. You are appreciated!

Q said...

Dear Wendy,
Happy Easter. I love the way you weave your stories....the way you travel the long and winding road...I love the way you love....and the way David finds ways to let you know he is right here with you.

amelia said...

That will be very heart wrenching to leave the house you shared but it's all part of the healing and moving on that we all have to do in our lives.
I hope when the time comes, that it's not too hard for you...

Rose said...

Moving is always stressful, but I'm sure it is particularly hard to leave behind a house that holds so many memories of your life with David. But I think he wants you to move on, Wendy, taking flight like the geese. He will still be there in your heart, no matter where you live.

Hope you had a happy Easter!

Grammy said...

Yes. you are the only Wendy in my life. I wanted to suprise you so I did not tell you about the card I made for you.:)
I am so happy you loved it.
Blessings my friend.

Cheryl said...

Dear Wendy,

It must be difficult making decisions, changing your life, leaving a home you and David shared.
I know in my heart you will make the right choices. I know your inner strength will guide you.
I know that David walks beside you and that you will never be truly alone.

Sending you blessings and gentle hugs.


Shammickite said...

Thinking about moving house and making the decision to list your home on the market is very stressful. I did it last year after considering the options for a couple of years. It wasn't very pleasant having to leave the house every time someone came to look it over, but I finally had a buyer, I found a place I wanted to move to, and I'm so glad I actually did it! It's a new beginning. And I'm sure your late husband would support you in whatever you decide.

JeanMac said...

Hi Wendy - good post. Keep us up to date on your moving plans.Sending love.

Tamer Nabil Moussa said...

Good work

I wish you happiness

onesilentwinter said...

i know exactly wher ethis is, it was my escape. i used to take drives to reflect or forget but i always stopped there, it is funny how it is a soccer field yet it feels as if it much more than that. now hearing you tell this story, makes me realize even more how some places have such energy to pull you in.

Oh aunt wendy, life is strange and beautiful and having someone to guide, who know you more than anyone is special weather he has legs or wings.

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

Wendy I just noticed that I have not commented on your blog in ages and am not sure how I missed you. I was so touched when I just read 4 missed posts. How could I be so remiss? I hope the sale of your place goes well. I love the way David and you connect at just the right moment.

Nature Rambles said...

Oh Wendy! It is such a comforting thought to know that David is with you. All those signs! I'm so touched by your descriptions. And beautiful photos of the geese.